Monthly Archives: November 2011

The Loner

All my life I’ve been alone, everything from not having a father, to not having “Friends”. I see the people around me laughing, chatting, and hanging out, doing the same things…..together. I guess being together for 12+ years, you wouldn’t know any different. But I’m sadly learning that when you are forced to leave the people you know ,and the friends you love in the middle of those 12 years…..It can ruin a person. I sit in class and look to my right, there they are, the people I thought I could call “Friends”. They ignore me, they don’t even acknowledge me, even when I try! What does a girl have to do to get a decent friend around here?

You can call them the ‘mean girls’, ‘that clique’, maybe even the ‘suck up girls’, But they probably don’t know any better. I just wish they would try.

Now don’t get me wrong, I have maybe two good friends. But they are never there to listen to me when I need them the most. Wait…..then are they actually my friends?

How could something that is supposed to be simple, be so difficult? What does someone mess up for this to happen?

I’m the kind of person who will walk up to a lonely nerd at a school dance and say “Hey, would you like to dance?” Heck, I’d even walk up to a random hot guy and say, “My name is Mariah! What is yours?” But how does one go about making actual friends when people don’t acknowledge you?

So many unanswered questions!

In life, how can you make lemonade without lemons?
All of this ‘drama’ has taught me a lot about myself, in a way.. It’s made me a better person!



Is it bad that I am already thinking about prom?
… okay DONT answer that …
I mean, how can you avoid something so…. SO MASSIVE!
There are so many unanswered questions, anyone have some answers?? 🙂
And, I mean, its not like… “What shade of blue makes me look skinny”
-What color dress?
-Should I buy one now?
-What if I gain weight and can’t fit in my dress?
-Do I drive myself?
-Does my date drive me?
-What if the guy I want to ask me, DOESN’T?
-What if the guy I don’t want to ask me…DOES!?
ah! My mind is spinning! and I need answers! FAST!